Previous Stuff

03.06.00

The more I write in this, the more it becomes like a journal I guess. Except for one little thing, I lead a pretty boring life so a journal for me would be pretty boring. Unless I made the shit up. I could write the journal of the person I always wanted to be. Something to think about I guess.

f*cking internet

I really really fucking hate the Internet sometimes. let's see, between the Gestapo-like proxy server not letting bad things like streaming media through, the alternative 28.8 connection I get on my own dial up account, or the 56K-ish one I get at home, here's a brief synopsis of my streaming media experience for all you T3+ bastards and bastresses lest you forget what the other half deals with:

Go to the happy fun loving website promising good humor. Click on the link to see the funny movie. Give e-mail address of a former boss you didn't like to access the funny file all your friends are laughing at. Try Windows Media Player (mistake)... watch it download about 5 1.5meg codecs before it plays video with no sound (and this is the recently released version 6.4, the one our TS guys at work are saying is going to "revolutionize the web... sorry, Web"). Try Real Player, change e-mail address to someone you just don't like, hit button to see said funny movie.

Wow! it's buffering, I have video and sound. Maybe Microsoft'll steal this idea soon for their media player. Here's where the Lag Experience kicks in. For those of you on high speed connections, this requires a bit of interaction on your part. Here's what you do. When the movie starts playing, let it go for a little bit. About 1 second after the scene changes, just long enough to see the new scene but no dialogue yet, hit pause and wait for about 20-30 seconds. Then hit play again. About 2/3 into the dialogue, hit pause again and wait another 20-30 seconds. Follow these rules through about 4 or 5 scenes, or until you're starting to get interested in the story. At this point stop the movie and shutdown your player.

You may not realize it you speed freaks, but you have just participated in my streaming life of "Net Congestion/Rebuffering" and "You have lost your connection". You will notice it has taken you roughly 20 minutes to watch about 20 seconds of movie.

Now you may ask, "But Christian,how will I know when the dialogue is 2/3 of the way through in any scene?" Well T3 cowperson (gotta be PC in rants nowadays, unless of course you think I am calling you a fat f*ck... umm forget all of this) Well, you have seen it already on your fancy shmancy high speed connection you cowperson! Now, the key thing is when you lose your connection; when you realize your only entertainment other than straight html and porn resides in the world of wonderment and gasping amazement that is the animated gif; at this point, you need to take a deep breath, move away from the computer, close your eyes, and exhale slowly. Re-light and repeat.

Okay so I ripped from the onion in the end, but hope you enjoyed my little experience on the information driveway.

I want my 2 Carats!

A little while back, I met this really nice girl at a little party. We danced, we laughed, we drank. I don't think I have ever had that many jello-shots in one sitting. We wound up off on our own talking over a bottle of wine. She had a glass, the bottle for me, classy guy that I am.

We got to talking about relationship ands she mentioned that she had broken off a long engagement the night before. Somehow we got on the subject of the ring and she told me it was 2 carats. I was a little dumbfounded, that's a big rock! So we talked about the ring for a bit, and I learned that this is somewhat of a requirement for this girl. A 2 carat minimum.

Normally, I would have dismissed this being that the ring alone is worth about 3 or 4 really awesome vacations in Europe and/or the Caribbean, but this is the second time I've heard something like this. Many moons ago, when I was stupid and engaged, I was looking for rings and had found a nice half-carat marquis-cut stone and a really good looking platinum ring for it. Never had to buy it because we broke up. Months later, I was being grilled on the subject by some bar wench who proclaimed that the ring is why my ex- broke it off. More to the point, the lack of a ring caused the split. I was a little surprised because to this point I had attributed the breakup to her being a flaky bitch. The bar wench went on to explain that she had a 1ct. minimum.

What the fuck? My own mother didn't even get an engagement ring until her 20-something-th anniversary. She always seemed fine with it, and even told me she didn't want one. She changed her mind when she and my dad found a great ring in the Virgin Islands.

I asked the 2ct. girl why this is a requirement for her. She explained that she wanted something that would always remind her of the marriage. I always thought that's what the wedding ring was for. If this car-down-payment-become-engagement-ring is for the bride to always remember the marriage, what does the guy get? Nothing more than that wedding ring that's apparently not enough of a reminder for his new wife.

Don't get me wrong here, she's still a real nice girl. I know I'm not going to persue anything beyond a friendship with her. I mean this is like the girl saying, "if you're not at least 12", you needn't bother." on the first date. I mean, when I heard the requirement, I immediately thought, "it's always something..." Also, don't think I ma against buying an engagement ring. I think it's a great thing, and really romantic. If/when I do the deed, I'll probably be on one knee, I'm so old fashioned. I just never though the size of the rock was a measurement of the amount of love I have for a person.

Do women use the promise of sex or love to get anything? I mean, what if one of these two women meets a really great, loving, caring, sensitive guy who's not gay and also not really raking in the dough. What if this guy can't afford to drop anymore than a grand on a nice quarter-carat rock? Will they dump the guy or just hate that damn tiny ring for the rest of their life? Is it possible that these women, and many others I'm sure, would actually hinge the rest of their lives' happiness on a fucking ring?